if not that they are god's will


I was having a conversation with a brother the other day and he said “I was not even looking at her. She is not my type. I am not attracted to her but since that is God’s will, that is why I am going ahead”. I simply told him to hold it there! I do not take that kind of spiritual false imprisonment.

Friends, this is one simple reason why marriages fail. One of the party thinks he is coming into the prison of God’s will. Knowing they are God’s will is not the ONLY reason you need to make your marriage a success.

They maybe God’s will yet you have seen that he or she cannot manage their anger – He explodes or She breaks plates when annoyed. But you bear it because you are certain it is God’s will.

He is God’s will but few days to your wedding, you caught him right in the act with another woman but you said, “He is God’s will so I will go ahead”. Now, you do not even trust each other a bit.

People think marriage is like Sunday Services where people put on their best. No! Marriage is like the bedroom where all the packaging disappears and we get real in boxers and singlet.

It can be God’s will but if one of the parties is not growing or if one of the parties has character deformities or if they have anger issues, and it does not get better, do not go ahead to marry.


If you are not attracted to him or her, do not use the stamp of God’s will to play a card of “I am pitying you”. No one wants to be the object of pity. Attraction is important.

Do not play the God card on anyone. Marriage is more than “He is God’s will”. Marriage is hardwork. You must build friendship. You must learn to resolve conflict. You must know how to communicate.

People say they marry God’s will but their home is still full of issues. Why? One or both parties are not growing.

Marriage will be effective not just when we are spiritual (which is important) but when we are skillful (the part we often neglect) and wise with our decisions.


About the author

Bella Ofili

Am out to be an ear to all who are faced with relationship issues and needs a channel of expression. Finding solution to your needs is my passion.

View all posts