Did I mention my mensuration seized a month before I got married to him? then I thought it was as a result of stress. But it turned into years. On 12th of January I got a job with Eco bank Nigeria and we became happy again I got back my respect. We started repairing the house and things seems better. Then that same girl Ola came back to his life. And every thing started falling apart. He accused me of cheating, because I sometimes return late from work. but when I bring the salary home he spends every kobo off it, and I end up begging for transport to work. he never gave me money even if I’m dying.

He abuse me sexual on a daily basis and still cheat on me, I became emotionally down. When his supervising job stopped, we became close again because I was now feeding him. We opened a company of which 70% of funds used was provided by me. He started getting contracts, and his first pay was good. I told him to pay the debt we own my dad but he refused instead he went to buy a jeep. I was disappointed I felt he was taking advantage of my dad not asking about his money even though things were rough for dad at that time. I was really upset but he lied he bought the jeep for me.

He became close with his mum,  they teamed up against me and started frustrating me, I endured all his bully, insult, hate and beating. The only time we are in good teams is few days to my pay-day. And after he has succeed in collecting my salary to the last kobo he turns me to an enemy. I have gone to so many places to look for solutions to my seized mensuration and childlessness but hubby never goes with me and I know when dealing with infertility, both couples have to be involved. he brought the idea of adopting, I embraced it because I thought it might help stop the constant fighting but I was wrong. The little girl we adopted was use as a weapon to fight me, anytime hubby and I have issues he tell her not to talk to me.

Ola was not the only girl he was seeing he was also seeing other girls, while he was busy training Ola in school and sharing money for other girls, I was walking long distance to work because I don’t have transport. Despite all the unjust treatment, I kept praying for him to be successful and still support him financially. it got that bad that I couldn’t buy under wears yet I’m working very hard and my husband earns well. He was awarded two contracts of five  million naira each yet he was still asking me for  money, I said I don’t have because I was beginning to realize he is just using me and I think he also realize I’m beginning to know myself that was when he told me I had to leave his house. I begged I cried but he never listened. It was then I  realized that my  commitment means nothing to him. He packed out and to my surprise women around came out took my things in and encouraged me. I never knew they see the pains in my eyes never knew they know what I’m going through. Never knew I was loved even though I don’t associate with them. I was broken life left me and only then did I inform my parents. My mum came but was  insulted. I could see the pain in my dad eyes oh if only I had listen to my dad. Its been a year now no words from him. We are separated but not divorce. I want to move on but the pastors kept saying I should wait. My dad died last year November so I can’t get his advice any more. I want a divorce and for him to pay my mum what he owes my dad but my pastors says I should wait. What should I do? I’m confuse and can’t move on because I’m still married and can’t mingle.

Did I mention that three-month after separation, infection I’ve been treating for years disappeared and I got my mensuration back.

RS I need advise.


About the author

Bella Ofili

Am out to be an ear to all who are faced with relationship issues and needs a channel of expression. Finding solution to your needs is my passion.

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